Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
