who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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