ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
