Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
