my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
