my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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