So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
