Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
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Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
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Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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