If i come over, it means nothing
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
