talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
