oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
