Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
