The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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