she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
How external is "for external use only"?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
