it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
