a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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