You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
