meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
