when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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