THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
