I CAN MOONWALK!
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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