So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I take back everything I said about communal showers
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
