First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I looked at my own cervix.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
