What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
