Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
