just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
