I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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