North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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