This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
