So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
50% drunk capacity currently
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize