oh god the rape fog is back!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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