Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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