He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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