I molested 6 butterflies tonight
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
