my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
