i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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