So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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