hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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