the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
