I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
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I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
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There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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