I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
