Me too!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
