I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
