Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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