I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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