she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
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