It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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