im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
