I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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