She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize