he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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