these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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