At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
