Your dad touched me again.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
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