so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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