Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
This is the high leading the old right now
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
