You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
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one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
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Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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