The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
