Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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