My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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