I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
