I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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